One of the first things I did about a month after my husband died was to enroll in a GriefShare group. Christ Presbyterian Church in Nashville had a group beginning in August, and I felt comfortable there because my kids had gone to the academy the church founded and my older son was in its first graduating class. There were three other women in the group. None had lost a husband. Later, a man joined us; he’d lost his wife. It helped to share the pain of grief.
“My bones are in agony My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?” (Psalm 6:2-3)
The GriefShare workbook put forth the question: “How would you describe your pain?” My answer, written August 12, 2008, was “A tingling that rolls down from the backs of my arms, leaving me weak all over and sucking the breath out of me. A hairball of anguish and agony in my throat that never goes away. Legs that don’t want to move forward.”
REMEMBER, the workbook said, THE FEELINGS YOU HAVE ARE NORMAL. Other people are experiencing these same feelings.
Grief is chaotic, messy, and mean. Grief can immobilize you.
SUGGESTIONS FOR LIVING WITH GRIEF: Shoulder into your grief. Let it take you where it will. Feel it, mourn. Cry all you need to. Every day. Work it out physically — walk or run and cry at the same time. Take care of yourself, do what feels right to you, believe you’ll make it through…in time.